Thursday, 30 October 2014

15 Reasons to be Grateful

My last blog was a little on the dark side due to my current low mood and sleep deprivation ~ I don't like lingering on the dark and serious. SO, I have decided to give myself a shake and remember those things that I am grateful for in my life, to remember that I know who I really am and must keep that in mind when the demons visit.


So, what are my reasons to be grateful? In no particular order...
  1. I have a great, all be it slightly off centre, family.  
    They ensure life is never boring as we lurch from one challenge to the next but at the end of the day we are all there for each other which is something I will be eternally grateful for. 
  2. I still have my own teeth. 
    This is very important to me and I am fortunate that they seem to be pretty strong and sturdy although not particularly white or sparkling (but then I wouldn't want to make people turn away from their glare, so that's fine) they may be a little on the sensitive side with the hot or cold but all in all they do a damn fine job.
  3. I have good skin.
    We have a theory that due to having some timber on my frame the few *cough* extra pounds help push out the crinkles leaving it pretty smooth which is great.
  4. If I fall down I can bounce back up, I am learning, finally, to love the person I am physically and moving away from constantly criticizing and pulling myself apart.
    Whilst not advocating being overweight, until I reach the point in my life when the weight decides to come off I am focusing on loving the person I am and finding the positives in that, plus there has to be something said for inbuilt air bags.
  5. I have my complete Terry Pratchett book collection (I have acquired more books since this photograph was taken)
    Also ensure I pre-order anything new which is due to come out. I treasure these books which I read and re-read over and over again, this writer always makes me laugh out loud when reading his fiction and makes me think when I read his more serious works. I am gutted to hear about his Alzheimers but so very grateful for the work he has and is continuing to do while he can.
  6. I have use of all of my senses. 
    Although as I grow older some are becoming weaker than once they were they are all still intact and enabling me to enjoy life to the fullest. Sometimes however, with flatulent dogs it would be great to have a dimmer switch on the sense of smell!
  7. We have enough money to live and keep the roof over our heads.
    We may not have exotic holidays, our sofa is popping at the seams and held together in some areas by brown parcel tape (as it blends better with the brown sofa), we have damp peeling ceilings where the shower keeps leaking through and the carpet is more of a stain montage than original carpet colour - but  it's ours and it's home.
  8. Cake. 
    Life is always good when there is cake!
  9. Being able to go to our caravan in Filey and sitting on the beach, watching the waves no matter what the season 
    Just one of my all-time favourite things.
  10. Good friends. 
    I have met some fabulous people throughout my life and whether physically in my life or via the virtual world I have made some strong connections with some truly inspirational and wonderful people, your friendship is deeply treasured ~ thank you for being in my life.
  11. Coffee 
    Without you I would not be able to move in a morning, you kick me up the butt and help start my spluttering engine.
  12. The internet  
    Where would I be without it, it links me to my work, my friends, my family, information, music. It provides me girls with a lifeline when they are too sick to get out of bed, it enables my daughter to attend virtual school. It is a family life-line in so many ways.
  13. My husband 
    I have known him now for 41 of my 45 years on this planet, he knows everything there is to know about me and yet still stays with me, you got to admire him for that and I am always going to be grateful to him for the friendship, love, support and partnership he provides.
  14. Life 
    I am still here; I get to fight another day, to whinge, whine or get off my butt and do something that matters. I am grateful for the fact that my body has carried me this far, it is stronger that I give it credit for and its appearance is a testimony to the journey we have undergone together. I am determined to make it count, to use it to do something worthwhile. 
  15.  My 4 year old i-phone 4
    I never thought I would be saying this, but I feel seriously naked without it ~ before owning it I thought mobiles were just for making phone calls, it has now become my much relied upon pocket organiser.

Tuesday, 28 October 2014

Demons

This blog is not about asking for sympathy or pity but to get people talking about mental health issues, sharing their stories, seeking help from others who have been in a similar situation and hoping to possibly offer help to others too.

Those of you familiar with my blogs are aware that I wear my heart on my sleeve, am open about my life and the issues we face within our family (with permission of those involved) and how we react to them. I am always open to new ideas, different ways of thinking and other peoples opinions and thoughts. I may not agree with all of them but where possible I have tried and will continue to try different ways of dealing with my issues to see if I can find a solution that fits and works for me.

My family and friends are incredibly important to me, I am a self admitted control freak, slightly OCD and hate any changes in routine or events which are out of my control. This possibly is why I am so wired and can't get my brain to power down, I'm constantly fretting and worrying about how I can make things better, the eternal "fixer" mentality without the know how to actually do it. I find it incredibly hard to accept that in life there are times when you can't "fix" something, you have to accept it, deal with it and move on as best you can. I am also admittedly pretty antisocial and seem to be becoming more so with each passing year.  However, I am grateful to those who have stuck by me and continue to do so, even when I can be difficult to love on occasion.
I suppose it is apt that my demons are haunting me as we approach Halloween, although I wish they would pass as swiftly as this holiday does too. I have been told by those close to me that I am unapproachable at times, they are scared to ask me for help in case I explode or go off on one at them ~ not pleasant to hear but shows that I've gone back into the pit.
I feel torn, my depression has been with me on and off for decades and is lodged within me like a unwanted friend, not wanting to stay dormant for any length of time it is eager to stay and whisper cruel jibes into my ear, letting me know my worthlessness, how poorly I am performing in life and how much I am letting down those I love.

To add onto that I am still gripped within the clutches of my other enemy insomnia, its visitation is unwanted and tortuous. I go to bed exhausted but unable to sleep, my body wired as if I have consumed huge volumes of red bull. I get out of bed in the morning with difficulty and struggle to get through the day. I am tetchy, emotional, aggressive at times and unable to cope with small daily tasks without feel overwhelmed by it all.

My dilemma? I am not responsive to sleeping medications; I have tried a whole host of varying forms of sedatives with no result. The only medication that has helped me is a single anti-depressant; I am hugely limited to which medications I can take as I tend to have reactions to them. However, even the smallest dosage causes me to become dislocated from life and zombified by keeping me in a drug induced stupor which makes everyday life difficult ~ the only way to describe it is that it is like walking in treacle whilst trying to squint and see my way through dense fog. I wish I didn't react this way and could take the anti-depressants and feel benefits without these side effects like many other people are able to do. I am a huge advocate of taking medication if it benefits you and know many close to me who have gone via this route and been helped enormously by taking them. Unfortunately this isn't a clear option for me without considering the side-effects which I know will occur.

I have tried meditation, self-hypnosis, white noise, varying sleep tapes along with the sleeping tablets, changes in diet, exercise all of which make no difference whatsoever.

I cannot change the issues within my life which causes my depression to flare; our home situation is not that of a normal family as we live with mental health issues along with chronic illness. Financially we are holding our own but it is tight, we have to budget carefully which is an added stress, although frustratingly people on the outside think we have far more money than we have in reality.

So, how am I to deal with my demons ~ I am soul searching and wondering what to do. Do I take the antidepressants as the only alternative we can think of which has any effect? I don't know, I would rather find an alternative way to be able to sleep and deal with my depression but if I can't then that is my last resort.
I have discovered that chronic insomnia is also very often partnered with depression, so at least I am not alone in this, According to Psychology Today, "Insomnia and depression often go hand-in-hand. Although just 15% of people with depression sleep too much, as many as 80% have trouble falling asleep or staying asleep. Patients with persistent insomnia are more than three times more likely to develop depression".

Interestingly enough, contrary to what was previously thought, that insomnia was a symptom of depression, some therapists believe that is not so, "new research shows that insomnia is not just a symptom of depression. What we’ve come to understand is that insomnia and depression are two distinct but overlapping disorders.”

Unfortunately, people with chronic insomnia are more likely to suffer recurring bouts of depression, it not only triggers it but perpetuate it too. Apparently combining sleep medication with anti-depressants will help and then combine that with CBT sleep psychotherapy many sufferers can be helped. However, I have just completed a cycle of psychotherapy and been discharged with no success in improving my insomnia or depression.

Another article I read on this subject about the combination of insomnia and depression feels that changing everyday behaviours may help " Insomnia and depression are deeply interlinked, as are the brain areas involved in both - the information network is often similar. Both depression and insomnia can make the other worse. Fortunately simple life activities can be used to prevent both - and to treat them." You can read what these daily behaviours are here. I shall be double checking this list as I mostly follow these rules, but will endeavour to ensure I am doing it correctly, to the letter, once more to see if it will help.

So, if I find something that is effective I will be sure to let you know, meantime if anyone suffers similar issues what have you found to help?
Hoping one day in the future to be able to throw off the two leeches’ insomnia and depression; to begin to feel human and live life to the full again without these two clinging on to me and dragging me back down.
 x~X~x

Friday, 17 October 2014

Lifes Journey

Funny how middle age creeps up on you and before you know it you are on the other side of that line. Yet, far from recoiling in horror from the whole ageing process, I find I am embracing it and welcoming the transition. I remember when I was younger how old I thought people in their twenties were. Then as I grew older myself the boundaries were extended, some people I meet are somehow old before their time whilst others seem to be forever youthful. I have come to the conclusion that you are literally only as old as you allow yourself to feel, it is a case of finding the right mindset.  

But what is middle age? middleage.org talks about how to decide about when it begins. They say in their definition essay about this subject that middle age is a situation and not a number, which I think I agree with.

I read an article which got my back up a little called "11 mistakes women make in middle age"  and this is a response to that particular article. I don't consider getting older a drag or that middle age as a period of our life fraught with tension. I can assure you my younger life was equally fraught in different ways and so I have found the older I become the more at peace I am finding myself dealing with my life, challenges and situation. Also, this article says middle age is a move into frumpy town, which is a ridiculous statement, in my opinion. So what are these "mistakes" the article says we are all making?
  1. Not realising we need to change
  2. Not spending enough on your clothes
  3. Comparing yourself to you in your 20's
  4. Skipping Exercise
  5. Not getting enough sleep.
  6. Ignoring your teeth
  7. Overdoing anti ageing efforts
  8. Thinking there are "hair" rules
  9. Using the wrong make-up
  10. Wearing the wrong bra
  11. Settling for a boring sex life.
Now, I need to clarify, not all of this article wound me up ~ there are some valid points too. So I shall go through each point in turn. 

"Not realising we need to change" ~ okay so some women wear the same make-up and clothes as when they were younger, but who is anyone to say this is wrong? I still wear jeans and trainers now as I did in my youth, I don't wear make-up so can't really pass comment on that. My opinion is that I dress for my own comfort, practicality and budget. I know some people (family included) despair at my penchant for man jumpers, comfy boots or trainers and jeans and refusal to dress in skirts, cardigans and smart boots to look more feminine. I choose to dress this way because I am happy to, I know that the jumpers are often shapeless but I don't care. I don't dress to impress other people ~ why should I? If there are special occasions then yes, I make an effort, more to please those around me than myself. But for everyday, forget it. In my humble opinion life is for living, for doing and not worrying about what other people think of what I am wearing, to be honest, I don't care. 
Which follows on to "not spending enough on your clothes" really? I couldn't care less about spanx, lycra panels and butt boosting jeans. If they are in the sale then great why not try them on and see how you feel about wearing them but really, why should I squeeze and pin myself into panelled, spanx clothing just to make myself look more appealing to others? It feels to me reading this that to be larger is a social faux pas, so we must haul it in and try and confine it. Why? People come in all different shapes and sizes and so why not celebrate what you have. I can't bear being hemmed in by my clothes, it makes me feel claustrophobic and uncomfortable. I agree that buying good quality, well cut clothes is more expensive and for special occasions then yes, perhaps a worthwhile purchase. However, for everyday purposes, wear what you feel comfortable in and don't feel you have to conform just to please others, so long as you are happy and comfortable in your own choices then don't worry.
"Comparing yourself to you in your 20's" ~ nope, I don't do that. I look back at photos of myself and see my journey so far, I celebrate the changes and sometimes have a good laugh too at some of my hair style choices and fashion faux pas. I disagree that "few people look as attractive in middle age as they did in their younger years" I think that people grow into themselves, they evolve and change but not in a negative way. I celebrate the grey/white hairs, the lines appearing and the stretch marks. It shows I have lived and continue to do so. I think the goal is not to look as good as you can but do agree to be as healthy as you can. Focusing on health and well-being is great advice but not on focusing on looks, you are what you are, make peace with that.
"Skipping Exercise" I think health is very important to focus on for us at all ages and that yes it is a consideration so that you don't become a vegetative couch potato. But I believe that you should only exercise within your limits, whether it be yoga, running, gym work, swimming or gentle regular walking and stretches. Too much exercise can be a negative, as with everything, it is finding a balance, to be doing it for the right reasons and properly.
"Not getting enough sleep" ~ I'm with them on this one! Oh, I dream of having a regular good nights sleep but suffering from insomnia, that just ain't gonna happen! BUT if you are lucky and can sleep, then I actually agree fully with this point ~ get  your kip and try not to burn the candle at both ends.
"Ignoring your teeth" Really? Does this need addressing at middle age? Surely we all should be taught at a tender young age how to maintain dental hygiene and this should just be part and parcel of everyday life for us all along with 6 monthly dental health checks with our dentist. Agreed that coffee and wine guzzling along with smoking habits can all add to yellowing and staining of the teeth, but those are choices you make ~ so if you worry about that then address what you put into your mouth!
"Overdoing anti ageing efforts" ~ this raised a smile, who is to judge you if you choose to have surgery or botox? Horses for courses, do what makes you feel better but only if that is what  you want to do for yourself, don't ever try and change yourself from someone else, that will never make you happy. I really don't care about wrinkles, greying hair and thickening waistline. Instead I celebrate still being here, that my ageing body is still allowing me to participate in life, the wrinkles, grey hairs, stretch marks, extra pounds are all signs that I have lived, I am proud of them, they are marks of my ongoing journey and I most definitely don't want to go back to being like I was as a teen or even in my twenties or thirties ~ each decade marks a new chapter of my life ~ I embrace it.
"Thinking there are "hair" rules" ~ they are right here, no rules apply. Have your hair the cut, colour and length you like. Heck, go rainbow if that's what floats your boat ~ life is too short to worry about what others think and have regrets about no doing something because others may not like it. Do what you want and what makes you feel good ~ I find how I wear my hair changes my mood. I love changing the colour if the mood takes me, cutting it very short or leaving it to grow. I go with whatever I feel at the time, currently I am growing out my very short hair into less short hair and out of curiosity I have dyed it to the colour of my roots and watching excitedly as the white & grey roots start to grow through. I may decide to dye it bright green in a few months times, who knows? But I will do it if I want to when I want to and for no other reason than that.
"Using the wrong make-up" ~ well, I can't comment on that seeing as I don't tend to wear make-up. However, if you have a look that you feel marks who you are then who am I to pass judgement. The girls did give me a make-over a few days ago as they were itching to try it on me, I appreciated them trying but I didn't feel like me with it on and so after having a few photos with it on I then removed it. I don't mind the occasional eye-liner and lip gloss but that's about my limit as I don't like the sensation of foundation or powder on my skin and the same goes for eye-shadows too.
"Wearing the wrong bra" ~ I don't think this is confined to any particular age, I see women walking around in bras which are far too small and can divide the breasts to give the four boob effect, whilst others have them hiked up right under their chin as if they are some deadly weapons ready to ping out and take an eye out if you get too close. Some women have loose bras meaning that their boobs hit their waistline, others migrate round the sides towards their back. Purely for comfort rather than style I think this is important and I myself go and also take my girls to be fitted each time new bras are needed, depending on weight and growth spurts the breasts can fluctuate in size quite dramatically. I don't know about you but I am deeply saddened that when I lose any weight the first place it drops from are my breasts, I mean honestly, life has to play these tricks ~ I'd much rather have the weight go from my thighs and stay on my chest thank you very much - but hey ho!
"Settling for a boring sex life" ~ Sex should be for fun and enjoyment, this applies to all ages, the sex of your older years may not be as gymnastic as that of your youth but I agree, young doesn't equal sexy. Feeling confident in your own body and knowing what you want can make you much sexier. Just go for it (be stay safe!).

So, middle age how do you perceive it, good, bad, indifferent? 

Some days I feel ancient, like I am trapped inside the body of a frail, infirm 90 year old lady, with the aches and pains, lack of energy and brain power to match. These are the days I think back to my younger, fitter, agile self and lament my bodies misbehaviour. Other days I am positively full of energy, brimming with laughter, ready to explode into hysterics at the slightest provocation, I feel light as if I am pumped full of air and not a care in the world and in the mood to create childish mischief. I feel youthful and carefree, almost to the point of forgetting how many years I have lived. It is definitely, for me, a case of mind over matter. If I am melancholy I feel older, greyer, diminished somehow. When I am in a positive frame of mind I feel lighter, happier, more youthful ~ I somehow imagine when I look in the mirror the sparkly eyed, fresh faced youthful me will be reflected. Yet when I see the reflection spookily similar to my mothers looking back at me instead of feeling gloomy I find it doesn't phase me. Instead I stop, smile back at my reflection and remember my mum, how much she loved and lived life to the full. Her laughter, her sense of fun, her infectious way of drawing you into being part of it too. I feel glad to have that link to her, glad that I look so much like her and feel a connection via my reflection to that lost part of my life and it brings me comfort not pain.

I suppose though, being honest there are some negatives to growing older ~  these can't be avoided forever. I have noticed over the years that my eyesight is not as good as it was, every year when I attend my free annual eye health check (parent with Glaucoma) I am given a new stronger prescription for my glasses. I cannot read any food packaging label or medication information on those small bottles without my glasses ~ in fact any fine print is just a blur and regular words on screen or books require my glasses to be brought into focus. I find my energy is not as abundant and my health as robust as it once was, I need to rest more, take care of myself and plan my day. BUT with this comes a clarity and appreciation for the smaller things in life, I notice the beauty of my surroundings, the joy of the seasons, the sounds and smells of life around me. Things that passed my by in my youth, were taken for granted and not appreciated are now noted by my older self.

I am inexplicably thrilled at the sight of emerging white hairs coming through in my roots now I have stopped dying my hair. I can't wait for it to grow longer so that I can see more clearly how many I have, it's a stamp of my age, of having come this far and how lucky I am to still be here. I may dye it in the future but then again I may not. For now though I am having too much fun looking for them and celebrating each new addition.

Lifes journey isn't an easy one, some people are luckier than others. Some have more than their fair share of trauma, ill health, bad luck and hardship whilst others seem to be blessed with luck, fortune and good health. I have friends and family who have been through so much and life seems to enjoy repeatedly kicking them when they are down, others seem to sail above it untouched. Why is that? 

Perhaps all is not what it may seem ~ those who sail above may be dealing with hidden traumas unknown to others. Those who are suffering may also be in receipt of love and compassion that their so called luckier counterparts have never received. I choose to always seek the silver lining to every dark moment, find the lesson that is there for us to learn and do what I can to move through it until brighter times can be found again.

My life has been a tumultuous journey, I have made many mistakes but refuse to regret them because it is through making those mistakes that I was able to learn and grow. I think the hardest challenge I am facing is parenthood. Our children are hugely loved but there is no guidebook to how to bring up your off-spring and navigate the humps in the road fate keeps putting in our way. I am very sad that the girls are having to live with chronic illness plus mental issues and how it has affected their lives. I wish they could have had the carefree healthy childhood I was privileged to have been given. Life has its own design, I haven't been allowed to participate in its planning but hope that both myself and Dave, together, are doing the best we possibly can with the challenges we are being given. I am so  hugely proud of the girls, how they take on these challenges, they are mature beyond their years, they know isolation, pain, loss, sadness  and many limitations but it is helping them to grow into amazing young women with empathy for others, wisdom and strength to face the next hurdle and teaching us as their parents so much in return.

So, for me middle age is just a phase within my lifes journey, if I look back I realise I have achieved so much already. I am only 45 years into this journey and hope that fate allows me many more years to explore what else it has to offer me. I have plans, dreams and hopes I wish to see to fruition. I hope I am blessed with so much more but because no-one knows when their journey is going to end I feel very strongly that it is important to seize each and every day, every  moment and relish it, make the most of every opportunity offered to you and take risks. Stop worrying about what other people think of you, accept yourself, learn to love yourself and do what feeds your soul. Don't ever get to a point where you stop and look back at your life with regret, wishing you had made other choices, accepted challenges. I now say no if I don't want to do something and don't feel guilty about it. I have stopped trying to please others all the time, let's face it, some people no matter what you do simply can't be pleased. 

It may be used frequently all over the internet, on cute inspirational pictures which are often shared, but perhaps that's because it's true. If there are any rules to follow in this life then just consider these three.
  • Live in the moment, enjoy what you have, don't covet what others have.
  • Love madly, passionately, widely. Love your friends, family, strangers, animals, the planet - appreciate what is around you.
  • Laugh as much as you can, take every drop of joy and happiness that you can. When I am sad I purposely sit and make myself laugh out loud, it starts as being forced and before you know it you are genuinely laughing and boy does it make you feel better too.
Gone are my days of worrying about my weight, how I look, if I am pleasing others. It has taken me 45 years to learn a very simple lesson but learn to love yourself for who and what you are and everything else just falls into place. You find clarity of mind, a sense of being and purpose. I know who I am and I know what I want from life. I navigate my remain journey with the skills my life so far has given me and use them to the best of my ability. I know I will continue to make mistakes and learn from them right up until the day I take my last breath, but that is part of the magic of our life journey, to see where it takes us and what it will teach us both good and bad.

Happy travels folks.
x~X~x

Tuesday, 14 October 2014

Thrilled ~ a moment to celebrate

This morning I saw a link to invite me to buy Christmas Cards from a Charity called Invest in ME, which made me hugely excited.

You may be questioning why I am so thrilled ~ it is because I put my amateur photography skills together with middle born daughter and we submitted 5 entries into their Christmas Card Competition. After on-line voting and then further deliberation by the Invest in ME panel, two of our five entries were successful in being winning entries. The funds from the sale of these cards will go towards the vital money needed to fund ongoing biomedical research into the illness Myalgic Encephalomyelitis, which two of my three daughters suffer from.

What has made this all the more special for us is that one of the photographs was Tasha's and one was mine. As we both have the same middle name, which is also the same as my late ma's Christian name we decided to enter under the name Marguerita Mawer.

My entry

Tashas entry
So, you will see our two cards on the website listed and credited as being by Marguerita Mawer. This seems a fitting tribute to mum who loved Christmas, she claimed December as her party month ~ and boy did she know how to party too. These photographs always make me smile as they represent our Christmases perfectly.

Messing about with mum and Big Sis around the Christmas Tree

All dressed up with The Dave, Mum & Dad (wearing his "skirt")

Another Christmas RAF Party/Ball with Mum & Big Sis

Very 80's with Mum & Big Sis with our perms 
Sadly for us now December is a difficult month now full of significant dates. Mums birthday was 6th December, she died on 13th December, funeral several days later, Christmas Eve and Christmas Day were always spent together and then we would all celebrate her Wedding Anniversary on 27th December, usually with a party. As the years are passing we are finding each December a little easier to navigate, we are now starting to be able to smile while we remember all the wonderful memories she left us with, very much a bitter-sweet time of year.

But, we are focusing now on dwelling on happier times, good memories and our fortune to have had mum with us for as long as we did. We count our blessings and this year especially, we are thrilled to have had our entries made into cards and will be sending them out to all our friends and family with pride.

If you fancy buying charity Christmas cards this year then you may consider buying some of these (great value for money too as not too expensive).

Invest in ME 2014 Charity Christmas Cards can be purchased here

Okay, that's enough Christmas for now, we have to focus on Halloween which is fast approaching and needs our full attention!

x~X~x

Friday, 3 October 2014

Are you on the register? #pantsonyourhead

I read my friend Stacy Harts blog this morning, she writes regularly every Friday for the Watford Observer, you can read it, subscribe to it and share it here

In it she writes about her life living with ME & Fibromyalgia but also talks about a plethora of other topics too, this week she appeals for your help in the desperate search for a bone marrow donor for a young girl called Emma. This lovely young girl is being kept alive by having regular blood transfusions and platelets as she has a rare disease called Faconi Anaemia (FA), which means she has bone marrow failure. The heartbreaking fact is time is running out for Emma, she has been on the bone marrow register since 2012 and no match has been found as yet. Her family are heartbroken as this transplant is so desperately needed.

So, how can you help?

You can join the movement known as #pantsonyourhead, all you have to do is take a photograph of you wearing a pair of pants (preferably clean!) on your head, uploading it and sharing the link ~ then if you are not already on the bone marrow register and fit the criteria, all you initially have to do is send in a saliva sample ~ it really is that simple.

It doesn't matter what your ethnicity is, all donors are urgently needed to help not only Emma, but others like her who urgently need your bone marrow donations. The clock is ticking against them and you may be the one who can save a life ~ how fantastic would that be?

You can read about #pantsonyourhead here, and join the bone marrow register if you are between the ages of 16-30 via the Anthony Nolan Trust website. For older folk (like myself) you can join the British Bone Marrow Registry which accepts applicants between the ages of 18 - 49, this is the registry I am currently on.  If you are not eligible to join this one due to being older than 49 there is still one more option. You can register to join Delete Blood Cancer UK which take people between the ages of 18 - 55.

Here's my photograph for the #pantsonyourhead appeal


Please join in too if you can, if not share the links widely, hopefully via the power of social media we can encourage more people to join whichever registry they can and help join the movement to do something amazing, find a cure and save lives.

x~X~x




Thursday, 2 October 2014

Rambling thoughts

I'm into day 2 of the October challenge and today is easier than yesterday, only 29 more days to go before I can enjoy some wine and chocolate....
Drools  in the style of Homer Simpson!

I had my middle daughter cut my fringe for me the other day, it seems it grows at three times the speed to the rest of my hair which is stubbornly on the grow slow! Whilst cutting it she noticed my roots were coming through and I have more and more white hairs sprouting ~ which gives me feelings of perverse joy ~ I have no idea why. I dyed my hair back to match my roots a while ago so that I can grow out the hair dye as my hair grows and satisfy my curiosity as to how many grey or white hairs I have.  It is still very difficult to see as my root growth isn't that much but am I stupidly excited to see how many I have as it grows and am very excited to hear that the hairs are white and not grey too ~ does anyone else feel this way or is it just me?
Emerging white hairs can be seen ;)
Now I may have mentioned a time or two that I have daughters with ME and this chronic illness plays havoc with their bodies thermostat ~ when the rest of us are running with sweat as the heating is turned on they continue to shiver beneath double duvets and a pile of blankets whilst wearing pj's, onsies and dressing gowns! THEN our marvellous osteopath saw an advert for sleeping bags with arms and legs, so you can be mobile whilst toasty warm ~ I feel a purchase coming on if I can only find one that doesn't cost the earth....


We tried electric duvets in the past but they only lasted a few months before breaking and so not wanting to go down the route of electric bed wear ~ any alternative suggestions always eagerly received too.
x~X~x